Sharing is the best way of caring for yourself || Conversations with Chiara

We have all heard that age old saying, “sharing is caring”. Or “a problem shared is a problem solved.” But I know all too well that sometimes sharing your thoughts, fears, emotions with another human can be daunting, scary or just too embarrassing.

Whilst I was reading this poem Community by Rupi Kaur it got me thinking about my own personal growth as well as the growth I have had within my friendships. In my late teens and early 20’s there was a lot of “I am fine” moments when all I wanted to tell people around me was that I was going through shit, but the fear of being judged scrutinised or being told to get on with it was too much. So I would plod on. But as time went by, and when anything would get too much I would go into my shell and try deal with it on my own. And let me tell you it is not the healthiest way.

From break ups, too friendships ending, to grief, to moving countries, to family dramas, jobs tress or anything in-between we all go through something so why not discuss these things with our people. I would say I am a strong woman but we all need a shoulder to lean on, and who better to do that with than the people you have hand selected and kept in your life for an extensive period of time.

I have come to realise that seeing your friends and just going out to all the cool places, or a bar or something does not nourish my soul, sure its fun. But I love to just sit with my friends and discuss what’s going on because we are all dealing with something. And there is strength in numbers, and it is sometimes the best way to deal with anything. Even though we are all online, and we can easily access people at a touch of a button, there are so many people feeling lonely and disconnected from their friends or just the world. We all share the best bits of our lives, and we all know that but yet we all get so sucked into the vortex about how your life is not that perfect.

I was always a closed book even with my friends. My high school boyfriend was the only person who saw all of my struggles, and ups and downs as I grew up with the boy. Why you may ask? Why did I not want to share my troubles with anyone? Just the fear of being so vulnerable with another human makes me so anxious. I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I am the loud, funny, slightly obnoxious girl in my friendship circle, who is not afraid to yell at someone if they are doing too much. But then again that is how I am perceived and we all have our crosses that we have to bear and sometimes they get too be too much and I was too embarrassed to share those thoughts with anyone. In the last few years things did get too much and I felt by opening myself up to my dearest friends would mean that they might understand me and my ticks. And it was scary to open up my soul, fish fillet style but I did and it was the best thing I could have done, not just for our friendship but also for my soul.

Sometimes dealing with issues can feel super isolating and lonely. So by sharing it with a someone you will have a side kick to navigate the twists and turns of the events before you or the rollercoaster of emotions you are experiencing. I definitely have been in that state of mind, and by opening up about my troubles they have not been solved, but it makes your soul and your being just seem a little lighter.

You do not need a sea of people, you just need one who has your best interest at heart. What ever you are going through, just remember you are not alone. Share it with someone, and I promise it will get easier. Or on the other hand, if you know someone needs to talk about something, reach out. Be their community. Be kind, cause Lord knows we all need some kindness to get us through the hard times. Do not look at your problems, or your issues as a burden, but a story. And as humans, we all love a story. Sure some are sad but we have to think of even the worst of stories as a phoenix rising from the ashes moment.

We all have our stories and we just need to share them with someone, and it will get better with time.

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