10 lessons I learnt on my year without boys

I had a year off boys in 2018 and enjoy being happily single- and its was by choice and honestly it was the best year of my life!

Haven’t you heard that saying, if there were no men in the world it would be a world filled with fat happy women, and probably less crime!

I know that’s extreme, but for me it was important to have a year without a male counterpart. When I say it was the best year of my life I mean that it was the best year of my life in terms of my self confidence and self love.

Rings worn:

Vintage Chanel Button Ring is from here:


I realised very quickly that I wasn’t as self reliant as I thought. Sure I’m an independent woman but sometimes I would require another human around to egg me on through life. From troubles in life, to work choices, to technological decisions, what to have for dinner… I could go on.

It would be for the big things, like what car should I get? Or what about this iPhone? What TV should I get? I felt like I was so dependent on someone else telling me these little but big things.

I never craved to be with anyone but it was like a security blanket almost. But this year it taught me to be okay with my own company, to go out more on my own. To feel confident in walking into a party (mostly
Filled with couples) and not care.

I always found myself finding happiness in or from someone else. And that had to change. I felt happiest or most confident when I had someone in my life. For most of my older teenager years and early adult hood I had a boy in my life. And it became about “we” and “us”, and then I suddenly found my self thinking okay, what the hell do I like! And who am I alone?

Since I was around 14/15 years old I have always had a boy around. Whether it was long term relationships, or not so long term or just even dating. I have always had someone around. I’m not saying that it’s an awful thing by any means but I had never ever been really single, footloose and fancy free! It was weird at first, but it became the more rewarding thing I had done for myself.

If there is anything I have learnt it’s that it takes time, time to heal old wounds and time to learn to be okay on your own. I know it’s annoying to hear but it does take time. Oh and fabulous friends! But again, I think there is a lesson to be learnt about self soothing. We all want to talk all the time about our feelings and sometimes not everything needs to be dissected.

I am an only child so being on my own at home is very normal, and I kind of need it to recharge before I have to face the world. But alone… like single alone was a big thing. Since I was around 14 I had a boyfriend and it shaped me to who I am today, but I wanted to see what Free Chiara would be like. So out of choice I wanted to figure out myself and you know what I did. I learn more about myself in a year than I ever did with anyone else in my life.

I learnt that I didn’t need a man to figure out technology, cars, home appliances. I could do it on my own! I feel stronger in myself now. I also became more self reliant, and making decisions on my own without having to ask anyone else for their encouragement. (Mamma & Dadda don’t count right? – maybe I have some attachment issues there -but we can work on that another time!)

Here are 10 lessons I learnt on my own

  1. No one should be responsible for your happiness
  2. Be independent! Enjoy your free time on your own or with friends
  3. Get used to being on your own at home
  4. Want a gadget? Research it !!! You don’t need a man to explain it to you
  5. Drive! Don’t wait for no man to be picking you up
  6. Walk in to party and be confident on your own. People with say things once in a while that will cut you but embrace your single time!!!
  7. Figure out what you love, not based on anyone else’s opinion
  8. Enjoy less maintenance- hahah girls you know what I mean
  9. It’s okay to be sad about being a lone sometimes. I know it’s very I’m an independent woman and all that but it’s okay sometimes to feel sad – ride that wave emerge out of it like the queen of the sea that you are
  10. Remember you are single and fabulous… exclamation point.

If there is one little note to add here at the end, it is do not get too comfortable in this happy single life if you want to find love. Being single and happy is great, but remember to be adaptable and compromise if you want someone special in your life because no one will be as fabulous as you.

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